lizzoeats

LizzoEATS FAQS

What is LizzoEATS exactly?

LizzoEATS is a new concept in food delivery technology. While many other food delivery companies focus on actuallys, bringing food to your door. We find that to be self indulgent. LizzoEATS promises much but delivers very little. And by little we mean nothing at all.

LizzoEATS is not a front company or shell corporation but most of our profits go through Panama papers.

How do I start using LizzoEATS?

Let’s get one thing straight, upfront. You don’t use LizzoEATS, LizzoEATS uses you.

But LizzoEATS is a totally legit real company so you can download our App from the usual places. We promise not to harvest your data or commit identity fraud. Much.

If you are looking for the more exclusive LizzoEATS Gold, then slide on into my DMs.

Once you have downloaded our app, browse through the wide selection of high quality something northing.

LizzoEATS takes no responsibility for ignoring you.

How will LizzoEATS deliver?

LizzoEATS uses patented 5-eye level tracking to figure out where you live. Our sophisticated algorithm then determines how much we care about you and your general wellbeing.

Depending on the level we’ll either lurk in the shadows outside your house. Watching as you come and go. Probably talk to your cat a little bit. Or more likely we’ll just stay at home enjoying our cozy surroundings.

What if I have a problem with my order?

LizzoEATS understands you have problems. We just don’t care. So, I don’t know?

Is LizzoEATS in anyway related to Lizzie McGuire?

Are you a copywrite lawyer? Then no LizzoEATS is in no way related to this Lizzie McGuire you speak of. The LizzoEATS brand is what dreams are made of. Hey now.

How is LizzoEATS different from GordoEATS?

GordoEATS is a legitimate food delivery service and has 100% reliability in its ability to deliver a high quality service. GordoEATS is unfortunately highly valued by all customers.

LizzoEATS is hoping to merge with GordoEATS. It will likely be a hostile takeover as GordoEATS looks to save communities from the shambles that is LizzoEATS.

Is LizzoEATS actually a joke?

Is the fate of New Zealand’s hospitality industry a joke to you?

LizzoEATS is dedicated to supporting local businesses, ignoring our customers, thinking about Ashley Bloomfield’s hair and avoiding the safety service of GordoEATS.

I’m a real restaurant and am interested in partnering with Lizzo EATS. How do I get more information?

Well that’s obviously a lie. The only food outlet that has survived the Covidapocolypse is GordoEATS.

What is cinnamonsweetgirleats and how do I get sourdough?

Glad you asked.

Cinnamonsweetgirleats is a much more luxurious and annoyingly beautiful establishment compared with LizzoEATS.

Cinnamonsweetgirleats is a movement aimed at improving the way low-performing businesses operate, by actually providing evidence that goods might actually exist and enticing disappointed customers with an irresistible dog.

The exclusive on-demand, smoke signal model is innovative and literally no one else has thought to adopt the mode of delivery service.

Cinnamonsweetgirleats is pushing boundaries in cult sourdough breadmaking which is so exclusive not even cinnamon has access.